I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize