Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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