We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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