i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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