After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He shit in the fireplace
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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