The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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