If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
