life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
