3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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