Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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