Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
home. puking in laundry basket.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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