The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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