glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
