check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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