I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
