At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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