HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
