I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
