wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
