i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
