i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
