I'm lost and stupid without you.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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