I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
