You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i would punch a child for taco bell
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
