Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
