That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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