Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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