yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just high enough for therapy.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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