He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
