no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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