that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
