sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
