ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
