remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
