I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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