oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
