When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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