Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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