I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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