so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
