So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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