Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
