I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
