Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
