I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Your cock deserves a montage
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
