but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
