Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
