i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
