Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
