Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You're a waste of cheezeits
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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