There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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